Once upon a time, at the very young age of 6, I dreamed a dream to be carried away (by horse, taxi, car, or bike) with Prince Charming. The thought of what happens after being carried away, never entered my 6 year old mind (I was too mesmerized by visions of wearing a flowing white gown, and the golden jeweled crown on my head). In fact, it didn't enter my adult mind during my engagement, when I should've known better. "I'll fix that about him," I figured, as I am sure he was figuring, "I'll fix that about her."Backing up a few years, after high school, I thought my 'happily ever after' was at college. The scripture I hung on my dorm wall, To Thine Own Self Be True, I missed in translation. Mister Prince Charming didn't show up during college. Onto and into the workforce. I figured I'd meet him 'on the job', something like on the job training, or student teaching, but adult dating. I was headed in the direction of finding a mate but not the right direction.
There are classes for English Lit, math, science. Why not for doing taxes, balancing your budget, and how to find mate? These are thoughts that once kept me awake at night.
As I dated, I'd study him to uncover the type of woman he wanted then twisted myself into that image. Naturally, it never worked. Not much of a surprise there, but it did always catch me off guard and each time ended tragically with me crying, or him crying. Either he decided not to date a copy of himself, or I decided I didn't like the person he was. So on I went, just bumping along instead of seeking God's image. Don't snicker gals, I know many of you are/were like me. You guys, too.
It took years for me to come to the conclusion that I was okay. It took longer to discover how that looked. My mother used to make me repeat these words: Who am I? Where am I going? How will I get there?
These days, I am here in my happily ever after phase of my life, no longer seeking a person to fulfill me. I seek moments. A chattering yard squirrel dubbed Chester that torments my 3 rescue dogs. Watching a seed I placed in the ground emerge into a beautiful flower. Listening to the giggles of my grandsons. Getting an unexpected phone call from my daughter. Spending time with my son on the back porch. A friend who unexpectedly calls and invites me to a movie, or dinner. Simple mundane events. And knowing myself.
My fairy tale has changed. Age and facial lines with very unattractive, drooping body parts might have helped come to this conclusion. But, I do feel peaceful about it all.
And if someone lovely comes along, he will be welcomed. But I no longer stand at the gate waiting. I am on an adventure.
